why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
