But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
