a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
