i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
