dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize