this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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