Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
