you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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