Me too!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
