So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She's the barista slut.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
