nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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