I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
