just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
