gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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