All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Operation Purity has been aborted
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
