I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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