Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
