I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
