is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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