Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
