as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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