You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
