she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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