Define "chronic" masturbator.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
