oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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