Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
