dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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