dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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