Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
