I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
