That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I need to calm my uterus...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
