I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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