official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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