i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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