He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
