yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
