That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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