South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
