Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
