It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize