Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
