Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
