So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
lets start a swedish sibling band together
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize