Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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