I wannas sexs uuuuu
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
