halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
