Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
