Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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