i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
