i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Randomize