I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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