One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
