dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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