she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
