it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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