Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
