So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
