i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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