Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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