he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
