i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
